When I was a kid, I loved Animaniacs. Did you? I couldn’t wait to see what kind of scheme Pinky and the Brain would come up with to take over the world. I especially loved it when Brain would ask, “Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?” And Pinky would say something idiotic like, “I think so Brain, but where are we going to get that much jelly?” Though their plots never worked, they never stopped trying to ensnare the global population in some maniacal plot.

Today we have someone much better than Pinky and the Brain. He’s more evil, he’s more cunning, and his plans—though often about global domination—are typically centered around offing his own mother. We have Stewie Griffin.

Stewie doesn’t have Pinky as a sidekick; instead, he has the ever-sensible, ever-drinking-before-two family dog Brian, who, instead of sharing his lust for killing Lois, simply lusts after her. And as much as I loved Brain’s scams—particularly the one where he was a country music star and dedicated his music to his “mama and Elvis”—Stewie’s are infinitely better. Below are some of his very best schemes.

“Stewie Kills Lois”: Though it only occurs through his own virtual simulator, Stewie’s intricate plan to take over Lois and the world at large—eventually getting killed by Peter—has got to be one of his best plots ever.

“Emission Impossible”: Stewie tries to stop Peter from impregnating Lois by shrinking himself, entering Peter’s body and blowing up his sperm. As much as I didn’t want a younger sibling when I was a kid, I don’t think I would have ever thought of this.

“Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story”: Through a plot to kill Lois, Stewie ends up having a near-death experience that leads him to finding his future loser self, and sets about trying to change his future.

“The Kiss Seen Around the World”: When a bully steals Stewie’s bike, he gets back at the older boy the best way he knows how—by kidnapping him and torturing him in the basement!

“I Never Met the Dead Man”: There’s just something awesome about a baby who doesn’t just hate broccoli like normal kids do, but who also sets out to destroy it.

“He’s Too Sexy for His Fat”: Trust it to Stewie to start overeating just to taunt overweight Chris—and then gain weight himself.

“A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas”: By being a good boy—and playing Jesus in the nativity scene—Stewie manages to secure some plutonium from none other than Santa himself.

What are your favorite Stewie plots? Be sure to share them in the comments or in your own post.