Oh summer, how boring you are, with nothing to offer on television but reruns. For some reason I'm stuck in the rerun doldrums early this year. Last night I found myself trolling around YouTube looking for a clip of the Family Guy "ad" for Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man.
1. WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN!
WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN! Okay I'll stop now.
Seriously, every time salesman Al Harrington says "Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man" it gets funnier! I think of this ad any time I pass a Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man. "Protect your crops! Confuse your neighbors!" In fact, I now pass one several times a week, because a car dealership near the grocery store set one out for the holiday weekend.
I spent the better part of the night clicking from one Family Guy embedded fake ad to another. I had honestly forgotten about most of these!
2. Diamonds: She'll Pretty Much Have To
Meh. This one does nothing for me. I guess because it's such a one-note joke.
3. Stewie's iPod Commercial
Remember Stewie's iPod commercial, where his silhouette dances to Scandal's 1984 hit, "The Warrior"? Well you'll have to settle for your fond memories, because YouTube has ruined it forever. There are about 100,000 remixes of that ad available, and not a single real clip.
The closest thing I could find was literally some guy pointing a video camera at his television while the episode aired. I have way too much respect for you to even bother linking it here.
4. Crudely Painted Not So Funny Plywood Cutout Folk Art
Al Harrington returns, now at the helm of a crudely painted not so funny plywood cutout folk art dynasty. The funniest part of this ad is unquestionably the part where he mentions that his inventory is, mysteriously, due to "an unwanted result of a recent lawsuit."
Once again, the more times they repeat that bizarre awkward word-filled phrase, the funnier it gets. Living in a rural area, I see more than my fair share of crudely painted not so funny plywood cutout folk art, and I think about this ad every time I drive past some.
5. Hasbro's Best Thing Ever!
"Sticky! Yummy! Bouncy! Fun!" This ad may be the best of the bunch. It works by leveraging every single trope from Saturday morning cartoons pitched to kids.
1. The kids are SERIOUSLY PSYCHED to be playing with Best Thing Ever, even though it is visibly stupid. It's just a blob, but that announcer makes it sound SO AWESOME.
2. Best Thing Ever has a million and one uses! None of which you'll actually end up doing if you buy a Best Thing Ever. But each additional use makes it sound more exciting.
3. Bright lights! Flashing colors! SHOUTING!
